


Never Meet Your Heroes (but Make Sure to Get Their Number If You Do)

by Potrix



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Matchmaking, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, M/M, Matchmaking, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, POV Rhodey Rhodes, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Rhodeyfest, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 10:37:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5124419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potrix/pseuds/Potrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Only someone with Tony as a best friend, Rhodey thinks, fondly resigned, would find themselves unexpectedly appreciating the shirtlessness of one of the world’s most skilled and feared former assassins.</em>
</p>
<p>The one where Rhodey meets his crush, Tony fails at being subtle, and Steve is a little shit, but things turn out all right anyway.</p>
<p>
  <span class="small">(Now with a sequel: <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/7496559">Failure to Catch on (and Other Tests of Patience) </a>)</span>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Meet Your Heroes (but Make Sure to Get Their Number If You Do)

**Author's Note:**

> My [RhodeyFest](http://rhodeyfest.tumblr.com/) (pinch hit) gift for [not-a-sidekick](http://not-a-sidekick.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> I'm sorry this took me so long to finish, but here we finally are; my first foray into the Bucky/Rhodey territory. Enjoy!

_“Good evening, Colonel Rhodes,”_ JARVIS greets warmly when Rhodey touches down on the Avengers Tower landing pad, automatically adjusting the disassembly mechanism to the Iron Patriot armour. _“Sir will be pleased to see you.”_

Nodding his thanks, Rhodey steps out of his boots and in through the balcony door, not exactly surprised to find the penthouse empty. Things had been pretty bad there for a while after the whole mess with Killian, the Extremis soldiers, and the resulting breakup with Pepper, Tony blaming himself and trying to distract himself from the pain by combining working until exhaustion with copious amounts of booze.

Steve’s friendship and support had been invaluable to Tony during the worst of times, with the wounds still fresh and Rhodey deployed outside of the States, and Rhodey approves wholeheartedly of the romantic turn their relationship has taken recently. Not that that, or the fact that Rhodey’s childhood bedroom had been nearly as stuffed with Howling Commandos merchandise as Tony’s, had kept Rhodey from giving Steve the shovel talk to end all shovel talks.

With Steve having taken over most of Rhodey’s mother henning duties in Rhodey’s absence, Tony’s returned to his normal, still unhealthy but no longer dangerously self-destructive lifestyle, so while he still spends hours a day down in his workshop and forgets to eat on occasion, at least Rhodey knows he has someone to remind him about breaks and sustenance before he passes out sprawled across one of his workbenches now. Or on the floor. Under a car. Again.

After grabbing a sixpack of sodas out of the fridge and shucking his jacket, Rhodey makes his way downstairs, frowning a little when the elevator doors open on the ‘shop level and he isn’t immediately assaulted by the usual, eardrum-busting sounds of Judas Priest or Black Sabbath. The lack of music is explained a moment later when Rhodey walks around the corner and spots the person sprawled out on the ratty couch he’s pretty sure had already been around back in their MIT days.

Only someone with Tony as a best friend, Rhodey thinks, fondly resigned, would find themselves unexpectedly appreciating the shirtlessness of one of the world’s most skilled and feared former assassins. Or their childhood crush and favourite comic book character. Or, in this special case, all in one. He allows himself another couple of seconds to ogle in peace, takes a deep, calming breath, and then punches in his access code.

Tony’s head swivels around at the whoosh of the door, face breaking out into a huge, beaming smile Rhodey can’t help but return in kind.

“Honeybear!” Tony exclaims happily, awkwardly returning Rhodey’s one-armed hug while still in his seat and with the fingers of one hand buried knuckle deep in the mechanics of Barnes’ prosthetic. “You didn’t say you were coming! What are you doing here? Have you been talking to Steve? Are the two of you teaming up again? JARVIS! You’re supposed to tell me these things!”

Ignoring the mostly one-sided argument that follows, Rhodey tips his head at Barnes. “Nice to finally meet you in person,” he says, accepting the hand Barnes offers him. “James, but everyone calls me Rhodey, thanks to that crazy guy I met back in college.”

Barnes laughs, warm and genuine, his grip firm without any of that macho strength display bullshit Rhodey’s more than used to from some his fellow military men. “James, though everyone but the other scary Russian upstairs calls me Bucky.”

“Kotyonok,” Tony cuts in, still glaring half-heartedly at one of JARVIS’ cameras. “She calls him kitten.”

“You and Natasha?” Rhodey asks, telling himself he isn’t strangely disappointed by that bit of news. Or scared that the Black Widow’s going to drop out of a vent any second now, demanding to know why Rhodey’s been staring at her boyfriend.

“Hell no!” Bucky grimaces, shaking his head for emphasis. “We got too much history, she’s like a sister.”

Tony snorts, clicking the maintenance panel on Bucky’s forearm shut. “Yeah, _that’s_ the reason,” he mutters teasingly, chuckling and ducking the rag Bucky throws at his head. “Stop assaulting me, asshole, and wriggle your fingers for me.”

Bucky does, grinning widely. “Yeah, grinding’s gone. Thanks, man.” He stands up, clapping Tony on the shoulder, then stretches in a way that draws Rhodey’s eyes right back to his chest because damn, that man is ripped, and Rhodey’s only human. “All right, gonna get outta your hair. I’ll let you know if it starts actin’ up again, ‘kay?”

“Who do you think I am? It won’t,” Tony says haughtily, hiding, Rhodey knows, how uncomfortable real and honest compliments make him behind his attitude. He uses Bucky’s earlier projectile to clean his hands, freezing suddenly and looking back up at Bucky, then over at Rhodey, a small, excited smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. “You know what, Buck? You should join us. Right, sugarplum?”

Rhodey blinks, a little taken aback by the unexpected invitation, but shrugs and says, “Why not? The more the merrier.”

“You sure?” Bucky asks uncertainly, slipping his shirt back on and pulling his hair back into a messy bun, which should make him look like a hipster but is, in actuality, incredibly hot. “Don’t wanna intrude on your catching-up time.”

“Of course he’s sure,” Tony says, dismissing the question with a wave. “Come on, you go shower,” he orders, turning an indulgingly huffing Bucky around and giving him a shove towards the door. “And we’ll go find Steve. Meet down in the lobby in thirty, dinner and drinks, the whole shebang? Sound good? Good!”

Bucky holds up his hands, chuckling. “Jeez, calm down, I’m going, I’m going!”

“What are you up to, Tones?” Rhodey asks once he’s sure Bucky’s out of earshot, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose when Tony just blinks, innocent like he absolutely is not, and singsongs, “Nothing at all, buttercup.”

****

* * *

Rhodey finally puts two and two together when they get to the restaurant, and Tony practically pushes him onto the bench next to Bucky, then hurries in after them so Rhodey’s sandwiched in between them, thigh pressed firmly against Bucky’s. He glares at Tony all through ordering while Tony expertly ignores the disapproval aimed at him, but by the time their food is brought out, Rhodey can’t really be pissed anymore because Bucky, it turns out, is the perfect guy to be unwillingly set up with.

He’s naturally charming with a dry sense of humour, and their interests are similar enough that they can keep the conversation going between the two of them when Tony and Steve seem to forget that they’re out in public and start getting all mushy and flirty with each other. 

They laugh about their experiences during basic training, discuss the pros and cons of their favourite handguns, agree that the last season of _How I Met Your Mother_ never should’ve been made, then disagree on the topic of pineapple on pizza, and complain about their respective best friends and their shared need to be reckless and stubborn about it.

Rhodey’s a little embarrassed to admit that he never even noticed the waiter coming by to clear their plates, startled into looking up when Tony declares loudly, “They’ll have a piece of chocolate fudge cake, extra whipped cream, two spoons.”

Steve hides a grin behind his napkin, shooting Rhodey an apologetic but still highly amused look over the top of Tony’s head, and Rhodey would probably be angrier if it weren’t for the distracting, almost obscene moan that leaves Bucky’s lips when he takes his first bite. 

They relocate to the bar upstairs after dessert, where Rhodey and Tony get completely destroyed at pool because Captain America is a dirty, rotten cheater. Some people come by for autographs and pictures afterwards, but all in all, they’re left alone once they snatch one of the booths, relaxing with a couple of [Nojitos](http://mybestcocktails.com/recipe-191-Nojito.html) and [Virgin Coladas](http://mybestcocktails.com/recipe-413-Virgin-Pina-Colada.html).

Bucky manages to score a few extra points with Rhodey by slinging an arm around Tony’s shoulders and telling him to shut up when Tony, contrite and with a sour expression on his face, insists they don’t all have to go non-alcoholic just because of him. The dancing Tony suggests is the first idea Rhodey can get behind, enjoying both the feeling of Bucky pressed up against him, and the sight of Steve blushing and Tony growling possessively whenever someone asks if they can cut in.

It’s late when they get back to the tower, having decided to walk home and made a detour for hot dogs and fries, which, apparently, isn’t enough to deter Tony from his mission. “We should watch a movie,” he decides, nudging Rhodey in the direction of the loveseat and grabbing Bucky’s wrist, pulling him along as well. “ _Casablanca_? _Dirty Dancing_? Oh, I know, _Love Actually_!”

“Or,” Steve says, snagging Tony around the waist and drawing him in, thankfully lowering his voice because Rhodey’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to know what he’s saying, going by Tony’s widening eyes and flushing cheeks.

“Yeah,” Tony croaks, clearing his throat. “Yeah, _or_ we could do that. Steve and me. Right now. Goodnight!”

Steve winks at them over his shoulder as Tony drags him away towards their bedroom, and Rhodey turns to face Bucky, giving a sheepish little shrug. “Sorry about Tony. He means well. Usually.”

“Eh,” Bucky says, obviously not very bothered by Tony’s matchmaking attempts. “I had fun, don’t worry ‘bout it. Besides,” he hums, looking Rhodey up and down, slow and not subtle at all, “wasn’t like spendin’ the evening with you was any sort of hardship.”

It takes Rhodey’s brain a moment to confirm what he’s hearing, but once he catches up with Bucky’s words he grins, arching his eyebrows. “Oh? So, asking you for your number wouldn’t be too presumptuous of me?”

“Nope,” Bucky says, popping the p, and glances down at Rhodey’s lips, then back up at Rhodey’s eyes, leering openly. “Would askin’ you for a kiss be too presumptuous?”

Rhodey laughs and shakes his head, going for bold and putting a hand on Bucky’s waist, squeezing softly. His answering, “Nope,” is murmured against Bucky’s mouth, warm and still tasting faintly of chocolate. Bucky hums, pleased, gently nipping at Rhodey’s bottom lip until Rhodey opens up for him, one hand settling on the back of Rhodey’s neck and the other on the small of his back, holding him close.

Rhodey never gets around to saving Bucky’s number. Waking up with Bucky spooned against his back definitely makes up for that, though.

**Author's Note:**

> Go check out my other [work](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Potrix/works), or come over and say hi on [tumblr](http://potrix-the-queerschlaeger.tumblr.com/).


End file.
